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Before my very lesbian sight happened to be actually ~subjected~ to  » The L Word , » I’d some pretty disappointing concerns about gay life . Very first, I feared the glamour might possibly be entirely stripped clean from my personal globe ab muscles next I emerged tumbling out of the wardrobe (there have been most glamorous gowns in this wardrobe). 2nd, I feared there would be no hypersexual, twinkly-eyed, wildly-charismatic woman players that will break my personal begging-to-be-cracked-in-half cardiovascular system.

And then I started enjoying  » The L Word  » upstairs within my bedroom with all the doors secured. Everything I experienced previously thought about gay life was actually smashed like a Fabergé egg tossed regarding a top eastern part penthouse apartment by scorned partner of a rich Manhattanite!

And that I enjoyed just what lingered throughout the challenging lesbian pavement which had crushed the social standards of beauty, baby!

And also you learn whom don’t only linger but *lounged* over the lesbian pavement that hit myself like a lightning storm? Shane . Besides was actually Shane strikingly breathtaking, she was swaggy . I experienced never seen swag like this — on or off-screen. Oh, Shane, making use of smudgy black eyeliner resting beneath her milk-chocolate brown vision! Shane, who entered the display hipbone initial and presented you hostage along with her smoldering gaze. Shane, exactly who got down and dirty every single evening with yet another girl. Shane, just who crushed minds like fraternity men crush beers. Shane utilizing the crazy charisma! Shane, who set every doe-eyed skater son I’d ever before outdated to shame together effortless charm. I would set awake through the night and dream of happening some grungy glamour big date with Shane in West Hollywood following having sex together with her poolside with a palm-tree floating above my personal mind, mainly for her to prevent chat to me again! Know me as ill and twisted, but which was my personal strongest fantasy — to get ~cheated~ by Shane . Just how attractive getting forlorn over a self-medicating hair-stylist in a leather vest?

Then, we had been released to Carmen in season two. Carmen was actually the kind of lady I idolized: widely hot and of course feminine with beautiful tomboy undertones.

Carmen ended up being the sort of lady who’s the star of the woman local boxing gymnasium and a lifestyle queen. (Girls which DJ until three in the morning but nonetheless are able to have visible abs are *still* this type of a mystery if you ask me.) She had been the sort of woman who can speak her brain while resisting the urge to put a drink in somebody’s face. The sort of girl with tattoos and femme daddy vibes and mild sight and a huge look that houses teeth since white as virgin snowflakes. She was the kind of lady i needed is but could not be. (i am too artsy and weird are a Carmen.)

Whenever Shane and Carmen very first connected, I almost passed away of serious envy. As I seethed in an eco-friendly deathbed of jealousy, I happened to be cut back to life by their riveting chemistry. I became always watching Shane have fun with the starring role in every their gorgeously salacious hookups, but Carmen held her own. She commanded the screen just as much as effervescent Shane did. Even when they fought and also whenever Shane pretended to-be an emotionally distant f*ckboy at the beginning of their particular courtship, we with pride rooted for them. What I appreciated is the fact that they were both featuring functions within connection. They were two women that glimmer and glitter and captivate the general population with equal magnetic energy.

During my fantasy-world wherein « The L Word » just isn’t a work of fiction but a real-life that I’m seriously absorbed in, I eventually know individually that Shane and Carmen both met with the upper submit their previous relationships. Since they are both increasingly independent and jaw-droppingly hot and also have the sorts of tasks that get an individual laid plenty, all of their past enthusiasts happened to be vehemently endangered by their unique sexy power. Nevertheless when two different people just who burn brightly get together, they’ve got the ability to blend fires and produce a fire therefore vibrant it lights up the fucking world.

And for sometime, they did .

Even so they had been baby dykes back the early 2000s when they initial met up! And like all child dykes , they took their own gorgeous union as a given. It’s that which you perform when you are young and radiant. You cannot deal with the warmth through the fire you have started, so you destroy it — pour h2o over those pretty orange flames and snuff it appropriate the f*ck out.

Specially if you are regularly becoming the shit-stirring, drama-provoking one out of the partnership — particularly when you’re not always matchmaking the real and mental equal. It is a recipe for a hurricane of jealousy and anxiety about vulnerability, the type which takes down whole villages.

Just what exactly happens? Carmen gets jealous of Shane. Shane becomes envious of Carmen. Shane cheats on Carmen because she actually is injured and has probably never been to treatment thus has no healthy tools to assist her handle her ever-exploding thoughts. Carmen cheats on Shane right back because screw that shit, she actually is maybe not probably remain quite and calm after being duped on! (women like that never ever perform, only so you understand.) Next Shane’s closest friend tragically dies of cancer of the breast. Shane hasn’t exposed to a lot of people in her life and it is experiencing strong sadness and reduction. She arises from a dysfunctional household, so her friends tend to be her household. She is in essence dealing with the death of a close relative and is terrified of shedding a loved one again.

Very Shane offers to Carmen. You will need to never propose to an individual because they’re afraid and experiencing added prone and trying to deal with a devastating loss, but Shane does not understand any benefit; she’s younger . You will want ample existence experience to educate yourself on innovative instructions that way. Carmen understands in her own instinct that it is perhaps not just the right time for you get interested to Shane; Carmen is actually naturally a good idea. She does not take Shane’s proposition in the beginning. She knows both of them have maturing doing before traipsing along the section.

But, my G od , Shane’s buddy just passed away, which is most likely kicking up Carmen’s very own deep-rooted demise upheaval (she lost her grandfather in a motorcycle collision — which is significant ), and she actually is experiencing hopelessly depressed because the woman beloved mommy simply disowned the lady for being homosexual. Therefore, fine; she’s going to marry Shane. And, because like we stated, Shane never gone to therapy and worked through her shit, Shane will get cold foot. Her absent parent toxins the girl by informing the girl, in summary, they are both destined to get asshole self-sabotagers the remainder of their particular lives and takes off with a younger girl. All of the small sounds in Shane’s head that tell the lady she does not need to-be delighted get truly f*cking deafening. They have higher compared to the components of the woman that know the woman is worthy of living a wonderful life with a great partner. She gives into those devil sounds and will leave Carmen at the altar and profits to be on a massive hard-partying bender. This is all very traditional addict. And also at this point, it really is glaringly obvious that Shane struggles with addiction. Merely, she has no proven fact that she is an addict, very once again, does not have any proven fact that the woman dependency is sleeping to the lady and it is in fact positively wanting to draw the woman from the light and inside black. Sigh. (I am *so* glad we talk a little more about mental health and addiction today than we performed in the early aughts.)

Carmen, naturally, is heartbroken , humiliated, and never, actually ever desires see Shane once again. She does what some women carry out after a heartbreak: She dates back where you can find end up being with her family members (who possess since accepted her sex). She demands time for you to crawl in the uterus and repair these blood-oozing injuries.

That number of crisis , hurt, tears, despair, and betrayal operate because strong due to the fact Hudson River — thus deep and remote that no light can permeate its solution to the center of it. The one and only thing for those girls accomplish is walk off from one another, start talk therapy, come to be much better men and women — be more self-confident those who learn by themselves and love on their own more than they might previously love other people. This is why large heartbreak is really so crucial that you enjoy when you’re youthful; it makes you to really look into the mirror and test thoroughly your life in a proper AF means. It teaches you how utterly effective love is actually as well as how prone most of us should be acquiring our very own asses kicked by their metal fist. It does make you aware of what your habits tend to be and what type of baggage you have been unfairly tossing onto someone else’s quivering straight back.

Shane and Carmen much better men and women in order to have had their particular minds smashed open by their unique impressive baby-dyke romance. And, even as we discovered inside recent reboot  » The L Word: Generation Q , » Shane has certainly obtained the woman work together. She is one of the more winning hairstylists on the planet and has salons in Paris . (for anyone killjoys I hold watching article on social media marketing that it is « unrealistic » for a celebrity hairstylist to be that rich: You’re completely wrong, bitch. Superstar stylists make loads of money and frequently be millionaires when they begin their very own hair care lines and get a slew of exclusive salons. It isn’t only finance dykes who build empires, you understand.) Yes, she actually is going right on through a breakup and plainly still has lingering thoughts on her behalf INSANELY attractive ex-wife Quiara. And Quiara is every thing — popular, skilled, fashionable, earth-shatteringly breathtaking.

I think Quiara is just a little youthful for seasoned Shane, and Quiara wants a child — anxiously . And Shane is not extremely enthused about the whole thing. Indeed, she’s managed to get obvious she wants nothing at all to do with it. And that I eventually imagine — if she really, madly, seriously enjoyed Quiara like she claims she really does — she’d be on board the infant. I think the real concern is that Quiara is not Carmen. Not one person will ever end up being Carmen. (And Quiara is deserving of a lover that’s thrilled to begin the baby journey along with her.)

We do not know a great deal about Carmen’s new lease of life via « The L Word, » but i have produced a substantial narrative during my mind. Right here goes: Carmen went and watched an excellent shrink after Shane screwed the woman over. She managed the suffering and reduced the woman parent, ultimately. She dealt with the stress of residing in the wardrobe to appease the woman homophobic family members. Getting radical change, she relocated to new york and became the best, the majority of generally lined up DJ from the Eastern Seaboard. What i’m saying is there is certainly absolutely no way she remained in Los Angeles. Shane and her friends would nonetheless encounter the woman whilst out on the town, for females like Carmen do not simply fade after a breakup! You either come across them the amount of time or they move to a area and glitter like expensive diamonds for the window from the Tiffany 5th avenue shop, within brand, glossy new resides.

Carmen, like Shane, has actually become the woman crap together. And guess what? We doubt either ones has actually actually been in a relationship with this type of pleasure and intimate chemistry like theirs! Thus after ten years right after which the healing, raising, researching by themselves, why mustn’t they offer it another chance? The ol’ college try provides a greater success rate when you’ve been regarding school for over 15 years. Why mustn’t they keep the baggage regarding 20s in the baggage cart and purchase a fresh pair of suitcases from Louis Vuitton (if Shane can take a trip via personal aircraft, she will be able to manage Louis luggage)? They’re now much better, a lot more steady variations of which they used to be.

But sexual biochemistry like they once had? That crap doesn’t burn out. Actually Ever . I’m absolutely certain that they would rock each other’s globe in bed. In the end this time around, it might be such exciting-yet-familiar gender! (Which is the greatest sex.)

In closing, Carmen should forgive Shane and day her already. All i am seeking is *one* go out, Carmen. You and I both realize that one go out would induce another day, which may trigger intercourse, which may create all of them staring in one another’s vision perhaps not daring to blink — not wanting to miss the second of each and every other peoples naked skin.

Thus at least check it out, ladies. If not for you personally, for teeny-bopping us! If you don’t for me , for all your previous infant dykes exactly who discovered every little thing lesbian from viewing Carmen and Shane glow up a normally static television display.